It is the living it out first in private before He lets me share it in the public.

Therefore you can imagine my hesitation to teach on healthy relationships. No, more than just healthy, He is going after loving relationships with others, even the “others” that I can’t stand, can’t forgive, can’t believe will be different.

I can talk about a loving healthy relationship with that Lover Boy Jesus all day long. But when you get into other peeps or my family, ouch, this cuts a little too close to home. And yet. Isn’t this precisely the way of God? To so overwhelm us with His love and affection that we spill out and over on others? Proverbs says “the tongue of the wise brings healing.” And we need to hear Jesus speak healing into every relationship we have.

So this new seminar  on June 9, is very simply a time plant a few seeds of Jesus in our lives. Most of us have been through some sort of counseling, even Bible studies. Yet most of us would say our relationships don’t change much. I find that to be so counter to the way of God.

When people in the Bible had an encounter with Jesus, their lives were changed. Some instantly, some over time, but all were changed because He put something in them that produced His life.  Real Life. That is what we are going after.

Plan to come with a desire to pull weeds in your heart, and to let God plant His healing and wisdom instead.

Real Life. Real Relationship.
June 9, 9:30-Noon
Fuse Church, Midpark Drive
Open to All: women, men, couples, singles
Love Offering Event
Pre registered Childcare Only.

In honor of Mother’s Day, I thought I would post one of my favorite photos of the Spicka Chicks. Shot nearly five years ago,  I love is how this picture captured the “Who” of them before they came to “Be” them.

Salem, the oldest, is the strong, not so silent type.  Her face is full of thought and her gaze on others and life is straight forward. Today, we see this is growing more and more. Charis, the youngest, here is just beginning to “strike a pose.” But now we know that she is  full of color, sass and joy.

I love that God knows them and what they need more than I ever can. I love that God loves being Our Father and that we all get to journey together for a season.

If I had to pick one of the 1000 pictures I have taken over the last fourteen years of this amazing madhouse journey of motherhood, this one stops my heart every time. I love my girls. I love being their mom. And, I am so thankful that God heard my cries and gave me children against all odds.

The Lord woke me up with this song at 1:30 a.m.  I had gone to bed with a rolling question that needed His answer. And although this didn’t answer the specific, it absolutely answered the deeper, greater questions. Are you with me? Have you got me?

I remembered as I woke up this morning and saw this scribbled on my mirror what the chorus of the song is:

His love endures. Forever His love endures.

To make it even sweeter,  I had great memories of this song.  He and I  had just shared  the most amazing time on Sunday morning with this song. I had to go in the back of church and just sing out and dance in worship of Him. When I sat down Chuck turned and asked me, “Did you  just have a spell?”  Smiling ear to ear, I nodded yes.

How tender of the Lord to use it again in the middle of the night. This is the beauty of worship. Jesus said that true worshipers would worship in spirit and in truth. I don’t think I understood that verse fully until today. Now I see that  He planted that “truth” into my “spirit” on Sunday morning. And in the wee hours of Wednesday, He began harvesting its fruit. Worship is when His truth is deposited into our spirit. It is when our spirits are connected to His Spirit. It changes things in our present moments but also in our futures.

I had to abandon everything Sunday morning to get to that sweet spot with Him. The issues, the preferences, even the grumblings. I had to get to that place of intimacy that all I could see and feel was His presence. The great exchange… Breathe Him in. And watch Him pour back out when you need it most.

Bless you Lord for your amazing love.

The One Who Saves, by Hillsong

Come join the song, lift your voice
As Heaven and Earth give praise
Fall to your knees at the feet
Of the Son of the One true God

Turn from old ways, lift your eyes
For the kingdom of God is here
Open your heart, offer all
For Jesus Christ is here, now

We have found our home
We have found our peace
We have found our rest
In the One who loves

He will light the way
He will lead us home
As we offer all
To the One who saves us

Call on the name that is hope
Jesus, the Son of God
Lord over all, He is good
And His mercy endures always

His love endures
Forever His love endures
Forever His love endures
Forever and ever

So many people are paralyzed about what to do with their lives, what God’s will is, how then should they live, or how are they going to make this work?  They are not paralyzed out of the prospect of handling God’s blessing, they are paralyzed by the fear of losing something, or doing something wrong. But we have green lights from God.

Does that mean that we can do anything sinful that we want? God forbid. However, It does mean that when our hearts are “tuned to sing his praise” and  we are motivated out of love for Him, then we can run full out expecting his favor. And just like in traffic, when danger is present,  a red light appears. God  protects us with a red light when he wants us to stop or sit still.

I have three friends who have stopped dead in their tracks. Not because God has given them a red light, but because they are terrified of just running in His grace. They really don’t trust God to direct and guide and provide, so they are constantly trying to calculate their every action. “I just don’t know what God wants.” they complain.

We can trust  the Holy Spirit to lead us. He uses our aches, groans, hunches and desires to reveal our path. As we mature He leads through the Word  or speaks to us directly. But always He is responsible for getting us to and through our lives.  Therefore we can run in confidence believing our good God will direct our paths.

Listen to the song Sometimes by Dave Crowder. I love the line, “let’s risk the ocean, there’s only grace.”  God stirred that in my heart about four days ago and it is literally haunting me.

What am I willing to risk to follow God? What do I think I will encounter that God won’t handle? How much will I throw myself into His grace? No matter if I choose wrong…there’s only grace.

Check your heart, your plans, your relationships. Are you paralyzed by fear, or are you running in His favor? Your job is to love Him with your whole heart, soul, mind and strength. His job is to take care of everything else. He’s got you.

My kids still act shocked by it, but on occasion, I tell them “No.”  I usually have  a good reason, or insight, or hunch that they may, or may not see– or agree with. But the answer remains a no. And, I still love them. I have begun saying to them, “My No is as loving as my Yes.” I want to plant in them that I am not mad when I say no. I am not delighting to torment them, or purposely spoiling their idea of fun.

As a parent, I have to look at the big picture, the overall story of what they want  and what I want, who else is involved, the long term effects, even the unforeseen consequences or rewards. Out of love, I tell them–yes. Out of love, I tell them– no. But both are love. My kids Love my yes answers. I get all kinds of gleeful responses. My no answers are not greeted with such enthusiasm.

I ask my kids to trust me even if they disagree. I ask them to trust that I am moving out of heart of love for them. Obvious, right?

Now if I do that so imperfectly, how much more trustworthy is Our Father? When the Spirit tells us ‘no, you can’t have that, do that, go there, say that,’ how much love is He showing us? He cares so much for us that He walks with us, in us. He says because of His goodness and abundance we can run full out.

God says with a smiling whisper, “Go!”  When we fall, no worries, He is there. Just get back up and keep running.

But then He says—no, stop, wait. He wants us to respond with as much love and affection as we do when He says run full out.  Picture His face when He says no.  Is He scowling, condemning, smirking, or ridiculing? God forbid.

He is still smiling, with a secret twinkle in His eyes, and whispers, “No. But trust Me. I can only give you good.”

God does say “no.” And He still loves you. It’s obvious. But we need to translate it rightly. His no is as loving as His yes.

Beyond her degrees, Powerpoints, and fundraising back up plans, she said that they have entered into the Life of Jesus — only. If God doesn’t show up, there is no food. If God doesn’t show up, there is no healing. If God doesn’t show up, they have no protection. So they worship… in everything. And God often responds in miracles and wonderful outpourings that many of us would have trouble believing. But her first goal, her first action, her first response is worship. She knows that the Presence of God is the only way she can live in the pressing need all around her.

Last night, I sat on my bed reading her God stories and just cried.  Cried over the goodness of God. Cried over the way I get distracted and faithless.  Cried over the groan and ache I have for more of Jesus, and yet –I still want my stuff, my way, my comfort.

Then I turned the page and saw a quote from Mother Teresa. She was asked how she managed to face the overwhelming needs day after day. She said:
“My secret is very simple: I pray. Through prayer I become one in love with Christ.

Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depths of our heart.”

At first I read this and was so comforted. But then I looked at the “overwhelming needs” of my day. And I wanted to throw up.

Am I feeding the poor? Caring for orphans? Am I doing something besides being distracted by the lies of my culture (more stuff, more bills, more beauty products)  and seeking entertainment? (Do I even pray about my  “friends” on Facebook? )

Will I invest even one honest season of worship in His presence without all the Christian trappings and just look for His face?

I would love to tell you, Yes, Yes, Yes. But I’m not so sure I can. What I can tell you is that I closed the book and began to pray. First I confessed my willingness to settle for the “pressure of the world” rather than seeking His power in my world. I thanked Him for the blessings of food, shelter, and abundance. When compared to most of the world, I live like a queen. And I can be as demanding and as ungrateful as a queen also. So I thanked Him for His grace and patience with me.

Then I began to pray for the poor and orphaned— in my life. Men and women who are poor in spirit, the people who in live life without the Father’s assurance. They (we) all need to be fed and comforted just like the abandoned ones in countries thousands of mile away. Then my heart turned to just speaking who He is, and how much I need Him and love Him, that He is the answer to all.

He is our greatest ache and groan.

Finally, I just sat in silence. And His presence came.

What did it feel like? Peace. Enveloping, warm, full of light. Peace. Peace that doesn’t always make sense or add up. “Peace that transcends understanding.” But a blanket of “I love you” just draped around me.

His Presence changes things. Our worship stirs His heart and then He stirs ours. He rights our view of our little world when we are reminded, again, it is His world. He is the loving King of all with not only the power but the desire to be God to us and for us.

Today, don’t plan a little more or work a little harder. Worship a little more. And watch God move.

And now, a couple of weeks later she is different. Completely different. “I do want to be married…and to him!” she said through choking words. She sees now that she had never been willing to do what it would take to make her marriage work. “I have never been willing to change myself.  I always wanted him to change.”

We pray her estranged husband  will try again too, but watching the Lord soften and heal and completely renovate this wife’s heart is faith building. You can’t believe how bad this story has been.  I listened to her recent revelation with the Lord and  I was dumbfounded. And humbled. She said “I thought about you and Chuck and what God has done.” She named two other mutual friends’ marriages that God had resurrected from dry bones. “If God could heal you all, as bad as you were, then maybe there is something I’m missing here,” she said.

As I relayed the good news to Chuck, we both just sat on the phone stunned. “That’s crazy,” he said. “I mean, who would have believed that this could happen?” Many of us have prayed for breakthrough and deliverance. But when the husband moved out, we felt like it was  over and dead. But God. I am glad that God has enough faith  for all of us.

“It’s a miracle. Really. It is a miracle in our midst,” I said quietly.

Three things  stir in my heart. Share your God stories. No matter how messy and ugly and painful. If God has been God to you through heartache, if you have a story of dry bones brought back to life, then breathe that glory out on others.

At Yes and Amen we talked a lot about the power of God to breathe new life on dead bones. All around the room you could see women sharing their stories. Eating disorders  now healed, marriages being restored, parent relationships being bridged… God’s heart is to heal us all if we will only ask and believe Him to move. And we need to hear that God is still God. Share your stories even if they are not “happily ever after” yet. By faith, we must keep on believing and speaking all that God is doing.

The second thing is hold onto the power of redemption. Really, really. The power of God put on display is not when we do it “Just Right” and He gives us a pat on the back. He does love our maturing in Him for sure. But until we mature, or as we mature, He loves when we bring everything to Him to restore and renew and well—to Be God. God is constantly wanting to be God for us, if we will only ask, believe and receive.

There is a beautiful line in a Caedmon’s Call song called “Carry Your Love.” It says, “change us from within/ render miracles from our sin.”  Only God can do that —take our sin and turn it in to something beautiful for His glory.  That word render  is so potent. Look it up sometime. “To melt down, to give in return, to transmit to another.”

All of those are so different in meaning but so God. His glory melts our sin and converts it into something mold-able in His Hands. He gives us beauty in return for ashes. We give him mess and brokenness, He gives us more of Himself, full of joy, possibility, new mercies. He transmits His very life into our own. Remember in Narnia? Aslan would breathe on the children, and their fears would vanish. In place of lack, He would “breathe into them”, transmit to them  His power, His presence.

And third?  Keep your eyes on Jesus.  Keep believing. What are your dead bones? Ask Him to breathe on them and then believe for your own heart change to happen too. May He render miracles of our sin.

Carry Your Love
We are called out; we are ransomed
We are not of the world were in
We are chosen; we are blessed
to bring light to the lives of men
So Father sow your seed
Give us life in community
Wake us from our sleep
This is your time; this is your place
and we are vessels for breaking

Under your grace we are led by your spirt
You have redeemed us by the blood of your son
Send down your word we are eager to hear it
Ready our hearts to cary your love

You are sunlight you are morning
Your the hope of a brand new day
Your are comfort; you are blessing
and you wipe all our tears away
So change us from within
Render miracles from our sin
Remind us once again
This is your time;this is your place
We are vessels for breaking

Under your grace we are led by your spirt
You have redeemed us by the blood of your son
Send down your word we are eager to hear it
Ready our hearts to cary your love

“I’ve never told anyone.”

“I’m afraid God is punishing me.”

“How can I make this right?”

“How can I forgive…?”

We know how you feel.  We have been there too.Through the fear, nightmares, denial, anger and regrets.

BUT we have passed through to a new place called peace, and true forgiveness.

We are still sad about the fact of our past, but we are no longer held captive by it.

God has shown us there is beauty in our brokenness.

We invite you to a tender, honest and safe weekend to
hear about how to walk forward in freedom.

What you can expect:

Time to process

Time to worship

Time to hear truth

Time to be honest

Time to sort out what’s next?

Teaching and materials by Jana Spicka.

2 night’s lodging at a lake house in Louisville, TN.

Check in at 5pm. First session at 7pm.  Check out Sunday at 11am.

Four meals and snacks. Breakfast, lunch and dinner on Saturday and breakfast on Sunday morning. (Friday night dinner is on your own before first session.)

This is an intimate gathering for 9 women.

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER.

“Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?”

Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.”

“You have judged correctly,” Jesus said. (Luke 7:41)

Jesus used this parable to challenge the hard-hearted homeowner who scorned the woman washing Jesus’s feet with her tears.  The bottom line is he who has been forgiven much, loves much. Jesus directly equates our ability to love with our willingness to receive forgiveness from God. But there’s more.

Sunday morning, I was in a wad  before church and  journaled out some confusion and frustrations in relationships. The Lord spoke that forgiveness was the key. So I wrote out the names of the strained relationships and asked the Lord to bring forgiveness to bear in the hearts involved. Then, what was the topic at church on Sunday morning?

Yes, a message on forgiveness. There were  new pieces revealed in this conversation with the Lord even as the pastor was speaking.

The pastor, Scott Hughes,  taught out of Luke 9 where Jesus said that if we are to follow him, we must take up our cross daily. I began to groan under the hint of “work it up” theology, but  Scott quickly commented how misunderstood this verse is. He broke down the meaning. The cross is a symbol of God’s love, the sacrifice of Jesus, the total forgiveness of our sin, but also the sin of every person in the world.  The cross means I’m forgiven, but so is the person I have conflict with.

So when we take up our cross daily, we take up, we carry around with us, the weight, the meaning, the reality, of God’s love and his total forgiveness. We carry the cross so we think rightly about our relationship with God and our total acceptance by Him. But we also carry the cross as a reminder that the others in our lives, even the ones we want to punch in the face, are also dearly loved and forgiven by God.

Then the Lord added His beautiful touch of revelation and the pieces starting connecting together like magnets pulling pins together.

He brought back a memory from another sermon from a few Easter’s ago. Greg Pinkner had fish tank on the stage and illustrated the story of the ax head being raised up out of the river. He said it was a picture of the resurrection of Christ. Greg had a blooming dogwood branch in his hand. As as he taught — about things begin buried, out of reach, and should not be able to be raised up, things like an ax head, like our sin, like  the crucified man named Jesus—he would push the dogwood branch down to the bottom of the water and hold it there.

But as he talked about the power of God, the power of His word, the heart of God to restore all things, Pinkner would release the branch and it would spring back to the surface of the water. The branch could not stay submerged. It had to come to the surface. He did this three or four times. By the third time, I wanted to stand up and yell HALLELUJAH!!! God has taken our sin and our separation and by His own Hand, He buried it in Jesus, once and for all. And then by His own mercy, He called Jesus back out of the grave and us with Him! Jesus could not stay in the grave!

So the cross isn’t just a sign of death. It is a sign of Life. New Life. Resurrected Life. When we pick up our cross daily we can take our offenses and hurts and “bury them” in the Cross of Jesus. He will bring new life where there was only death and separation before. And part of His new life, is an increased love for Him and for others because of this beautiful forgiven and resurrected life.

Oh the beauty of the Forgiving Father! The power of the Resurrected Christ! The promise of the Wonderful Counselor who leads us into increasing freedom with others, and from others.

Could we love others more if we forgave more? Could we love others more if we embraced how much we have been forgiven by God? May God grant us eyes to see and ears to hear all that He has in store for us through His love.

“I forgot that verse.”

“Oh I didn’t show that slide.”

“Wow Lord, I didn’t tell them that story of how You came through for us.”

I had coffee with Chuck this afternoon and ran down the list of what “I didn’t say.”  I wasn’t sad or disappointed. I didn’t feel shame. I was just stating the facts. And yet…

“What did I talk about?” I asked him laughing, recalling the Spirit’s mighty presence surrounding the women.  Chuck’s blue eyes and response burned right through me. “You told them exactly what God wanted them to hear!”

(Lord, thank you for this redeemed co-heir, partner, coach, friend and husband.)

“Well then, I just need to write out the rest of what I left out then.”  And he ardently agreed.

It matters because God is telling a powerful story. When you registered for the UE, you weren’t connecting to me. You were responding to the Spirit of the Living God.  So for the next several days, let’s see what else He has to pour out.

Today the pressing topic is God’s utter satisfaction in you.  I heard from women afterwards, and even on my team, the concern and fear that God is displeased, disappointed, frustrated, or “tired of my sh#@!”  When the presence of the Lord is so strong, we often see our shortcomings, deficits, ruts and rebellions all the more clearly. But God.

It is God’s glory  that exposes, overshadows, and covers our human-ness. It is His glory that stirs something in us to ache for “farther up and farther in.”  And it is our inward groan for “more” that should be our greatest encouragement.

The only reason we long for someone’s  total embrace of our true selves,  total acceptance of our good and bad sides,  total filling of a perfect love, and total forgiveness for the seen and unseen sin, is because deep inside we suspect we are more than we appear. God is not like us, but we are made in His image and our spirits hunger for the reality of Him. Dead people don’t worry about sin. “The love of Christ  compels” us to be like Him.

We have an internal hard drive that runs best when we are living out of His embrace, acceptance, fullness and forgiveness. So if our enemy can convince us or distract us by believing less, desiring less,  enjoying less, then he has us right where he wants us: Doubting the Love of God.

The best thing you can claim today is God’s perfect, joyful, continuous, unconditional delight in you. Not because of who you are, but because of Whose you are.

The Infinite God of Endless Delight.