Jana Spicka and Women Getting Real Ministries
Posts tagged Grace
We Interrupt This Regularly Scheduled Program… To Vent!
Mar 11th
You know you need grace when you get into those situations where you become frighteningly silent for fear of vomiting venom all over yourself, the offending person and the people standing within 10 feet of you.
That happened to me this morning. I didn’t even look at her for fear that fire-breathing dragons would burst from my eyes and burn her up on the spot.
But after I walked away from the moment, the Lord showed me these scenarios are also good indicators of other things besides grace:
A) God is teaching me self-control.
B) God is setting me up to flush places in my heart that need healing.
C) He is using ME to heal, repair, and convict someone else.
Another possible solution is that He is doing D) all of the above. Not funny, fun or entertaining. At all.
For the sake of social instruction… if you don’t KNOW a person well enough to already KNOW the facts, don’t ask if she is pregnant. Unless she has on a “baby on board” T-shirt, or like message, don’t go there. Not ever. Ever. Just because someone has a pudge, don’t ask, “How far along are you?” Believe it or not, there are about 100 body shapes between anorexic and pregnant. Why do we go from model thin to “with child”? Look around; there are lots and lots of body styles in between these two points on the spectrum. The last time I had a flat belly, I was 8. It is socially ridiculous to assume someone is with child because they have a roll. Can I be more clear? If you haven’t heard through the grapevine, if you don’t see a baby falling out of her uterus, if you don’t see some book for new mommies nearby, don’t ask.
For the sake of spiritual conviction…why did that bother me so badly that I couldn’t even respond? And what is the appropriate response?
It bothered me so badly because it was like a contest had occurred and I lost. She was thin and attractive and her question was like a judgment that I was not. I let her definition shake up my heart. And appropriate? Proverbs says “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.” How about a response like, “What an odd question. Why would you feel the freedom to ask that?”
Instead of being honest, I withdrew. Instead of standing in my beauty as God sees it, I hung my head in shame. That really hurt, but instead of being straightforward, I froze in the name of some Christian, Southern, love your neighbor BS.
Why do we shy away from letting people know how we feel? Are only good feelings, happy, holy feelings allowed? I don’t think so.
Today has been a good, good day by being such a bad one. But here are my God take-aways:
Truth: I belong to my Lover and His desire is for me (round belly and all). Don’t give in to social stupidity when it comes to weight, beauty and fashion.
Truth: If you don’t know, don’t ask. Ever.
Truth: Speak the truth, even when it hurts. Maybe it will stop the insensitive person from continuing to ask foolish questions of others.
Truth: Grace is not the same thing as silence.
Blessings on all you round-bellied women! And you flat-bellied ones, too!
Weight of the Snow
Feb 18th
With all the snow, no snow, everyone-else-but-us-gets-snow drama, I am frankly a little over the conversation. But in our brief visit with snow here in East Tennessee, the Lord reminded me of one important lesson and taught me a couple of others.
Looking out my bedroom window, the whole hillside was one thick blanket of white. Now compared to Northern snow accumulation, our blanket was more like an afghan, or a little fleece throw. But everything had been truly transformed into a glittering white wonderland. The Lord, quietly as the snow falls, brought back memories of the first snow after my salvation experience. It was the Blizzard of ’93.
Talk about snow. That day as I enjoyed the deep breath that always comes after a heavy snow, and marveled at the sheer beauty of the white expanse, the Lord brought to mind words from an old hymn: “Sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.” My heart stopped for a moment. As a new believer, I needed that tangible, living picture of what God had done and was doing. He took my torn and ravaged heart and life, and washed it, covered it, transformed it into a glittering white wonderland. So now when I see a landscape transformed, with no control or ability to self-snow, I thank the Lord once again for His unfailing grace and love.
This year’s revelation is equally thoughtful. When we turned on the radio to assess one of the “impending” snow storms, (there were three whole flakes on the ground) they kept talking about the “weight of the snow” and its ability to break power lines.
I don’t know why but that phrase keeps rolling around in my head. The weight of the snow. Think tiny flakes that add one on another. Each one unique and different. One author likened the snow as evidence of God’s ability to be Creator of us all. We balk at the notion of 7 billion people being valued originals. But one has only to measure a couple of city blocks of snow, covered in billions of original snow flakes to see this kind of creative endeavor is no hill for a Climber.
However, I am going in a different direction. Just as there is a weight of snow, there is a weight of God’s grace. And we sometimes view grace like we do snow. We question whether we will even get grace. Whether it is enough to even be concerned about. We complain that some get more than others. Then we flip radical switches and fear God will break our power lines and render us helpless and stranded. Of course, all the while, we talk, predict, disparage and mumur about the “snow” instead of talking to the “Snow Maker.”
There is a weight of God’s grace. Like a robe that has been thrown over our shoulders. We can feel it. Tangibly know it is there. There is also an accumulation of His grace. It seems hardly worth the notice but when it starts pouring, it changes everything. It causes us to stop and breathe, to redirect our routes, to get out and play. It even teaches us how to prepare for when things go completely awry and we are without independent power. We hole up and wait.
One thing about this picture that is kind of scary and kind of fun: we never know when we will get either, snow or grace. Only that we will. Just as as He boasts of his “storehouses of snow,” our God has limitless grace. You can eat it, wear it, play in it, build in it and you can even crash in it.
He is the everlasting Grace Giver.
Enjoy your “snow” days.
Who's Running On Empty?
Feb 10th
So we’ve talked about Elijah’s journey through the draught, the brook, the widow and the showdown with the false prohets.The rain has begun again and there are posters all over town that Jezebel is going to kill Elijah. Better than any reality TV. And even after all this God movement, Elijah is scared and pooped.
Is that okay? I mean do you ever feel like it is Un-Christian to be afraid and need a break? I talk to a lot of people, including myself, who have this spiritual notion that if you are “rightly filled with God” you will never get scared or weary. Or if you do, you’d better not admit it. Lord knows, there are plenty of scriptures that charge us to “press on” no matter what. Here are a few:
“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galations 6:9
“But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize….”Phillipians 3:13-14
These are all 100% true. And on the right day these verses really strengthen me (and you). But our fear and fatigue is 100% true too. And on the wrong day, these verses just make us feel more afraid, tired and alone. However, if we look at Elijah’s story a little bit differently, we might see God a little differently too. Much writing on this part of Elijah’s story focuses on Elijah. We despise his weakness. Maybe because it reveals our own.
But like most of the Bible, this story is not about the frail human, but the loving God who reached down and comforted His son. Go back and look at the passage again:
All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” 6 He looked around, and there by his head was a cake of bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again. 7 The angel of the LORD came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” 8 So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. 9 There he went into a cave and spent the night. 1 Kings 19: 5-7
Why did God do that?
The angel touched him. He “came back a second time.” He fed Elijah. He gave him water to drink. He let Elijah sleep. He woke him up. Picture a mother or father standing over the bed of sick child. Watching, waiting, hoping praying for restoration. Again, why did God do that?
I don’t think for one minute that God was disappointed in Elijah. I don’t think He scorned or rebuked him. For sure I don’t think He despised Elijah’s fear or weakness. That is what we do, perhaps. But that is not what God does. He comforted, supplied and strengthened His child. This is a loving compassionate interchange. God is so pleased to dwell among weak, broken people like Elijah, like us. And where was all this effort leading Elijah? To the mountain of God.
Where are you freaking out? What has got you running blind with fear? What has you so despondent that you would rather die than press on? Then purposefully take a rest. Take a nap, a walk, a breather. Take a time out and let God feed and refresh you. Let Him remind you that He is right with you in the middle of the mess. And He alone knows where you are really headed — the mountain of God.
Psalm 65
Feb 9th
This Psalm came to heart for us today… Soak in it.
Psalm 65
For the director of music. A psalm of David. A song.
1 Praise awaits you, O God, in Zion;
to you our vows will be fulfilled.
2 O you who hear prayer,
to you all men will come.
3 When we were overwhelmed by sins,
you forgave our transgressions.
4 Blessed are those you choose
and bring near to live in your courts!
We are filled with the good things of your house,
of your holy temple.
5 You answer us with awesome deeds of righteousness,
O God our Savior,
the hope of all the ends of the earth
and of the farthest seas,
6 who formed the mountains by your power,
having armed yourself with strength,
7 who stilled the roaring of the seas,
the roaring of their waves,
and the turmoil of the nations.
8 Those living far away fear your wonders;
where morning dawns and evening fades
you call forth songs of joy.
9 You care for the land and water it;
you enrich it abundantly.
The streams of God are filled with water
to provide the people with grain,
for so you have ordained it.
10 You drench its furrows
and level its ridges;
you soften it with showers
and bless its crops.
11 You crown the year with your bounty,
and your carts overflow with abundance.
12 The grasslands of the desert overflow;
the hills are clothed with gladness.
13 The meadows are covered with flocks
and the valleys are mantled with grain;
they shout for joy and sing.
I Hate Object Lessons
Jan 18th
So I am teaching a marriage retreat this weekend. And if that isn’t scary enough, I got in a huge fight with Chuck this past weekend. Here is what happened.
We are preparing for Charis’ birthday party Saturday morning. Yes, I said six little girls in their favorite dress up costumes complete with those loud clacking plastic dress up shoes. Did I mention that I have wood floors? And cathedral ceilings? Did I also mention that in some insane moment I purchased those roll out blowers as favors? You know the ones – they coil up into a mouthpiece. You blow into the mouthpiece and the coil rolls out and honks like a duck.
Yeah. Multiply that times 6 and add clacking heels.
Anyway, before all this drama, we were blitzing the house. (I have to say I love how Chuck and I work together. But hold on for the rest of the story.)
Charis was understandably excited and didn’t want to clean her room. So I threw out some merry little quip about “a cheerful heart doeth good like medicine.” Choose to work with a good attitude, I said. And we continued our blitz.
But somewhere over the morning, I lost my own cheerful heart. I was stressing out, there was too much to do, and if I am painfully honest, Chuck wasn’t doing it the way I wanted it done.
I began IMploding first. Do you know what I mean by this? Grumbling and swearing, complaining and whining, all silently – but internally boiling. Then I began EXploding. Lots of me-centered comments. I have to, I don’t have, I want, I need… And on top of that, I began excusing myself about why I was exploding. “I just need to vent and get this out,” I explained loudly. (Read: yelling). Was that supposed to somehow justify my behavior?
Deep in my spirit, I heard the words I had said to Charis. A cheerful heart, Jana, is like medicine. But I sent that medicine flying. I didn’t want to get well. I wanted to be mad.
Standing at the sink, fuming, I made an attempt to get a hold of myself. I bit the bullet and went back to Chuck. My apology was lame, lame, lame. “I know that I am wrong, and I know that God is going to convict me sooner or later, so I am just getting this over with now and apologizing,” I snapped and went back to my chores. I don’t know what I thought that was going to accomplish, because my heart was still boiling.
In response, Chuck put on a worship CD and before I could complain, I heard the words to the song that randomly came on:
“Praise God from who all blessings flow.
Praise Him all creatures here below.
Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts.
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Amen.”
“Will you praise Me for your blessings, Jana?”
“Yes, Lord,” I said begrudgingly, “but You have to change my heart to do it.”
Charis came into the room and said, “Mama, why are you being so grumpy?”
“Mama is having a bad day; we all have bad days don’t we? Well today is Mama’s day,” I said. I had just excused myself AGAIN. And that was it. The conviction fell. The Spirit said, “No, it’s not a bad day. It’s sin. At least call it what it is.”
I went and found Charis and cupped her little face in my hands. “Mama is not having a bad day. I have sin in my heart. Will you forgive me?”
Same drill for Chuck minus the cupped face. They were both happy to forgive because none of us wanted to waste our day and hearts like that.
And it’s so funny, the rest of the day turned around. Everything got done. Everyone, even me, enjoyed the party.
It is no wonder that the Bible says, “God gives grace to the humble, but opposes the proud.” Did you hear that? I can either have His help, or He’ll love me enough
to fight against me. He’s that determined to have my heart. Hmmm. That would be a no brainer.
“God, thank You for your unconditional love, even when I screw up royally. Thank You that it is You that causes me to want to humble myself. Thank You for Your loving grace. Amen.”